Movie Fights: Civil War vs. Dawn of Justice

Alright, I understand that technically, this post should be called Movie Fights: Captain America: Civil War vs. Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice, but I didn't name it that because, well, first of all: that's a really long title. Too long. Secondly, there are way too many colons in there. And finally, I for one have had enough of these ridiculous movie subtitles. Call it Batman vs. Superman OR call it Dawn of Justice, but don't do both! That's just confusing! It's like cramming two movies' worth of material into one rushed, confusing theatrical cut... wait a second.

Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me start again: This is the much-awaited (maybe) comparison of Marvel's Captain America: Civil War, and DC's Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice.

Now, on the surface, these two movies seem to have a lot in common. They’re both big-budget summer action films where superheroes who should be working together fight instead, because of a relatively petty issue that they could easily resolve by communicating if they really tried. However, these movies have a lot of sizable differences, which add up to make them into two very different films.

I’ll tackle Batman v. Superman first.

To start, Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice is long. It’s a long movie, and I swear not a minute of it is wasted. It’s stuffed to the gills with plot. There are at least two and half different plotlines in the theatrical cut alone; I hear there are even more in the director’s cut. Most of the plot is setup for Batman and Superman fighting; and boy is there a lot of setup. I don’t want to spoil any of it, but let me just say: there are more villainous machinations and philosophy-rationality discussions in Batman v. Superman than there are actual brawls between Batman and Superman. In addition to all the philosophical rhetoric and plot twists, there’s also a generous amount of setup for future DC movie-universe films. I’m not a hardcore DC fan, so I didn’t catch all of the hints while I was watching the movie, but I got at least some of them. And then, of course, there’s a subplot meant to set up the DC’s incoming Justice League movie.

All this adds up to a film so full of things happening that it’s hard to follow everything at once. Batman v. Superman is so dense, so stuffed with important plot pieces that my only impression walking out of the theater was “sensory overload”. It took me the better part of two weeks to really work through everything I vicariously experienced in the movie. For a movie called Batman v. Superman, there’s a lot of expositing, a lot of storytelling twists and turns, and not a lot of fight scenes. (In fact, 90% of the fighting is relegated to the last half hour of the movie. The rest of the movie only has a Superman rescue montage and like one scene of Batman doing Cool Stuff.)

So Batman v. Superman is too much material crammed into not enough space, with a much darker tone than you would think given the subject matter. Let’s look at Marvel’s Captain America: Civil War.

Unlike DC, Marvel has already established a strong movie brand and found their niche as far as storytelling goes. They’ve got a handle on the tone of their movies, and though I think the actual writing in their films has been going downhill of late, they know what works for them.

So Captain America: Civil War is, in essence, more of the same. It’s got all of the characters you know and love from the previous movies. It’s got peppy, fun-to-watch action scenes sprinkled throughout, along with snappy, humorous dialogue. It’s got a smattering of thought-out character moments, and a plot that makes sense if you don’t think about it too much. In short, it’s got everything we’ve come to expect from Marvel over the past few years.

To be honest, I enjoyed Civil War a lot more than Batman v. Superman. Civil War was a lot less complicated, easier to follow, and didn’t require as much active thought from me. It also had a more light-hearted tone. Batman v. Superman is dark and gritty and believes that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Civil War believes that power corrupts, but ultimately justice can be served if we try hard and commit to it. That’s a big difference in tone right there, but that’s not the end of it. Batman v. Superman is almost entirely consumed with its philosophy—that power is a corrupting influence with no moral compass, no matter a person’s intentions. By contrast, Civil War doesn’t touch on its own philosophy hardly at all, and even contradicts itself at points. What it comes down to is that Civil War doesn’t take itself half as seriously as Batman v. Superman, so it’s more fun to watch.

The thing is, though, I don’t think either of these movies is really the best it could have been, and ultimately neither of them are a completely enjoyable presentation of what they promised. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: any movie that promises me Batman and Superman fighting each other has a heck of a premise to live up to. The same goes for Civil War: the filmmakers had a lot to set up if they were going to get me to believe that the Avengers would really split apart and fight each other. Both movies tried to live up to their premises, but neither of them accomplished it really well. Batman v. Superman spent too much time on the buildup. It’s so dark and complicated that by the time it gets to the actual fight, you hardly even care anymore. Civil War didn’t spend enough time building things up; it presented a philosophy of sorts for both sides of the conflict, but then had the characters contradict themselves multiple times. Essentially, Civil War seesawed back and forth between a dark, serious plotline and the upbeat, enjoyable action sequences we’ve come to expect from Marvel. It couldn’t pick a tone, and I think that was its major flaw.

I do think both of these movies are worth watching. Civil War certainly isn’t the worst movie Marvel’s ever made, and it did have its share of worthwhile moments. Batman v. Superman is… an experience. I actually did enjoy it, but not all of it. If you watch it for anything, watch for Ben Affleck as Batman and Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman. They were definitely the highlights.

Both these movies are worth watching, but I think they both represent missed potential on the parts of their studios. To quote the Honest Trailer, Batman v. Superman “burned through like six movies’ worth of good material”, and suffered for it. It was too rushed, trying to get us to care about too much in too short a time span. By contrast, it was obvious that Civil War was, at least in part, riding the wave of popularity Marvel has accrued with its past movies. It’s my personal opinion that the writing in Marvel movies is starting to go downhill, simply because Marvel knows that any movie they slap their name on will sell like hotcakes. Essentially, they’re getting lazy, instead of using that branding potential to break new ground and explore new territory film-wise.

In closing: both of these movies represent their respective studios’ shortcomings. Captain America: Civil War rides a wave of previous successes, not bothering with internal consistency because the writers know people won’t care; it’s Marvel, and Marvel movies are good. Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice tries desperately to build up everything in the DC universe at once, hoping that something will stick and get people to come back for the next DC film. So both of these movies have their good points, but neither reached their full potential. Neither of them could decide exactly what they were trying to do. Maybe they’re more similar than I thought. 

Captain America: Civil War [Spoiler-Free]

So I got very lucky and was able to see Captain America: Civil War opening weekend. I don't want to spoil it for anyone less lucky, so I'm just going to post a vague outline of spoiler-free thoughts, and then expound on them later.

- The Russo brothers, directors of both this movie and Captain America: The Winter Soldier, continued to impress me with this movie. The plot is... a little sketchy, overall, but it's paced well. 

- The writing and characterization were excellent. I was skeptical and a little nervous about how this movie would be written going into it, but I wasn't disappointed. All the characters were great, and some were particularly great. 

- I'm definitely going to compare this movie to Batman vs. Superman later on, because there were a lot of similarities, but also a lot of contrasts. 

- I would definitely recommend seeing this movie. As with Winter Soldier, it's easily one of Marvel's best movies. 

@Marvel: Seriously, Guys. You Need to Rethink Some of Your Decisions.

To start this off, I would just like to point out that I am a fan of Marvel. I don't hate them; I just think they could do better in certain areas. And I'm willing to point those shortcomings out, even as I enjoy their productions.

That having been said: Marvel, would it kill ya to add some diversity to your movie lineup?

I mean, Rescue was an awesome first addition to the MCU, but Pepper Potts has had three of her own films and two ensemble movies by now--when is Tony Stark/Iron Man going to get his own film? And I love Jane Foster as much as the next person (Darcy Lewis makes an awesome villain), but after two movies, I'm starting to wonder what a story centered around Thor would look like.

And I love Isaiah Bradley, believe me, but he's gotten two movies and we haven't seen hide nor hair of Steve Rogers--who, may I remind you, came from the same time period. (Oh well, at least we got Sharon Carter as a major player in the last Captain America movie. She might even become an Avenger now!)

Admittedly, moving from Ronda Rousey to Anne Hathaway as She-Hulk in The Avengers was a good move. Ms. Hathaway really embodies the character and she's one of my favorites. But what about Bruce Banner? I mean, he is her cousin and all. You'd think he might have been hanging around somewhere, even if he hasn't become the Incredible Hulk in that universe yet.

And now we've got a movie about the Wasp coming out this summer. As though a 5:1 ratio of women to men in The Avengers wasn't enough. As though the fans haven't been begging for a Hawkeye movie since his first appearances. That's bad enough, but it appears that in this new movie, Ant-Man--a founding member of the Avengers and core character--has been killed off before the film even opens. Way to take out a potentially interesting, diverse character from the get-go, Marvel.

And Fox: you're not off the hook either. Just because you have a bigger line up per-movie, doesn't mean you're inherently more diverse. I mean, I know Halle Berry is a great actress, and people are pretty much guaranteed to watch anything with Storm in it, but isn't it time to give Hugh Jackman his own movie? And way to sideline your male characters in the prequels, just so you can focus more on the conflict between Moira MacTaggert and Mystique. At least Magneto got to be the villain for a change in X-Men: Days of Future Past. And by the way, why would you put Scarlet Witch in the movie without Quicksilver? Why would you even do that?
(By the way, that "Magic fixes everything" scene in DoFP was totally gratuitous. Awesome, but gratuitous.)

Oh well. At least X-Men: Apocalypse is coming. We're guaranteed to get Cyclops, Nightcrawler, and Colossus in that, and hopefully Magneto won't get sidelined too badly.

And then... Sony. Sony, Sony, Sony. We've had two different Spider-Girl movie franchises, with another on the way, and you've had yet to show us anyone other than Anya Corazon. Where are Miles Morales and Peter Parker? Sure would be nice to know that they exist.

I don't know, guys. I don't feel like I'm asking for a lot here. All I want is some actual representation here--more than just token characters and love interests. (By the way, way to go with Guardians of the Galaxy, guys. A bunch of female characters and one token guy--now where have we seen that before?) This isn't hard, guys. All it takes is looking at other characters from the comics, stepping outside your comfort zone, and maybe acknowledging that everyone wants to be represented--not just your select group.

Good day.

Avengers: Age of Ultron (Heck Yeah!)

*Warning: The following post contains multiple spoilers.*

I just got back from Avengers: Age of Ultron. 

Yeah. That's right. The movie I raved about before it even hit theaters. The movie I've been waiting months for. The movie I was so excited for.

Was it all I hoped and dreamed it would be?

To an extent, yes.

Age of Ultron was good. It had its great moments, and I'd say it lived up to the first Avengers film. But it had its downsides, too... and I guess that's what I'm here to talk about. And believe me, I've got a lot to talk about. So get up, grab a tasty beverage, use the bathroom, and find a comfy seat, 'cause this is going to be a long post.

***

Age of Ultron: The Good

• The action scenes were amazing--but then, I suppose that's par for the course with a Marvel movie. From the Hulk to Scarlet Witch, those scenes were beautifully animated and great the watch. I wish Quicksilver had gotten more scenes, but overall it was awesome. 
• Ultron and the Vision were both very well-characterized. It was really highlighted that Ultron had all of Tony Stark's flaws and none of his qualities, and the Vision felt--poignant. Clear. And the extremely human-like AI of both characters kept them very interesting, moreso than the usual robot characters you find in sci-fi.
• The dialogue was, as with the previous movie, quite entertaining. The "language" running gag was particularly great. 
• Speaking of dialogue, I just loved the pep talk that Hawkeye gave to Scarlet Witch during the final battle. It ranged from inspiring ("You stay in here, you're good, I'll send your brother back for you... but if you step outside, then you fight and you fight to the death...") to hilarious and very on-point ("We're fighting robots. In a flying city. And I've got a bow and arrow. None of this makes sense!"). It was just... beautiful... and I really loved it. 
• I was thrilled to see War Machine and Maria Hill as a part of the Avengers. Though I really, really wish that the Falcon could've gotten more than one appearance during the party... why didn't he stay?
• And on that note, I loved the bit at the end implying that the Avengers will now include the Vision, Scarlet Witch, and War Machine. 
• I did like Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver, too... but more on them later. 
• And Dr. Helen Cho. I loved her, and I'm so glad she's not dead. Hopefully she'll be in later installments, because she was great and somewhat-underutilised character. 
• The fact that the Avengers were desperately trying to save civilian lives was a fantastic touch; a good counterbalance to the obvious death and destruction that was all around. 
• And I enjoyed seeing Hawkeye's family... but again, more on that later. 

Age of Ultron: The Bad

• I liked Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver, I really did. They were fun to watch and they were pretty well characterized. But... I don't feel that they were as well done as they could have been.
  For one thing, Wanda and Pietro Maximoff were Jewish and Romani in the comics. That doesn't seem to have carried over to the movie universe; there was nothing that might have indicated that they were anything other than Eastern European and white. (Elizabeth Olsen and Aaron Taylor-Johnson, the actors in these roles, are both white, though Taylor-Johnson is, apparently, Jewish.) 
• I'm still mad about the apparent erasure of Hawkeye's deafness. In the comics he is (was? I'm pretty sure he is) 80% deaf. In the movies, nope, apparently he's 100% able-bodied and able to hear. And that irks me. The reveal that he does have a family, that he's got this sort of other life... that could've been the perfect place to show him practicing sign language with his kids, or something... anything. But no. There was nothing, and at this point, this far into the Marvel Cinematic Universe, I'm starting to resign myself to the fact that we aren't going to get 80% deaf Clint Barton. 
• Okay, this point right here is long and complicated and somewhat spoilery, so if you feel like skipping it... actually, don't skip it, because I think this is important.
  Awhile back I did a review of Bramblestar's Storm, one of the more recent installments in the Warriors series. If you've read that review, you'll remember that I was quite disgruntled about the reveal that Squirrelflight really can have kits.
  Well, I never thought that I would see the same problem in a Marvel movie and a Warriors book, but there it is and here we are.
  You see, in this movie there's a blossoming subplot that details a romance between Natasha Romanov (Black Widow) and Bruce Banner (the Hulk, obviously). In one of their scenes, Banner mentions that he wouldn't be able to father children if they were married. Natasha then reveals (in conjunction with a memory/flashback she had earlier) that she was forcibly sterilized as part of her training--that she physically cannot have children, either. She then asks Bruce, "Still think you're the only monster on the team?"--implying that she is a monster... because she can't have children.
  I don't like the implications here.
  Watching the scene, I got the feeling that Natasha Romanov has seen herself as monster for a long time; because of all that she's gone through and all that she's done. But the highlight in this scene--and, indeed, in her flashback--was the sterilization. In this scene, there is a very real implication that because she cannot have children, Natasha considers herself a monster.
  And I don't like that.
  As I stated in the Bramblestar's Storm review, there are women all over the world who can't have children, for one reason or another. Not only is this insulting and dismissive towards them, it's basically saying that real women who have been forcibly sterilized are, if not monsters, then something unnatural. That's not right. And while Age of Ultron doesn't outright equate children with a happy, loving marriage (the way Bramblestar's Storm did), the implications behind this scene are not good. 
• I kind of feel that Helen Cho was shoved aside and not allowed to play a huge part in the plot. Don't get me wrong; I was thrilled with her character, and honestly she had a bigger role to play than I thought she would. But then she was brainwashed by Ultron. And (literally) shoved to the side so that he could head out and enact his plans. And wounded so she couldn't help the Avengers anymore. (On the one hand, I was so scared she would die, and I'm thrilled she didn't, but really. I'm seriously hoping she comes back and does more in later movies.)

***

Conclusion

I really, really liked Avengers: Age of Ultron, for all the reasons listed. It had action, it had humor (Maria Hill's "*cough*Testosterone*cough*" comment...), the plot was pretty good, Ultron was well characterized...

And yet. 

And yet Wanda and Pietro Maximoff had their race (apparently) changed, for no reason that I can see. And yet Joss Whedon (the writer of this film) is still ignoring Hawkeye's disability. And yet Helen Cho was pushed to the side to make room for Ultron and Vision and Thor and Quicksilver's death. And yet Natasha is called--calls herself--a monster for having been sterilized. 

Avengers: Age of Ultron is a good movie--maybe even a great one, in terms of entertainment value and fun. But it had its flaws. And for those, I give it three and a half stars out of five. 

I like the Marvel Cinematic Universe, I really do. And for that reason, I hope that the movies will only improve from here. For they have their flaws and their failings. But then--as the Vision tells Ultron in the film--perhaps there is grace in their failings. For that, I can always hope. 

All the Small Things

~Periodic ramblings about my life.~

***

1. (Hydrogen)

I'm more-or-less halfway through Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. It's my first time reading it. (I started the series later than most.) I know all the spoilers, though, because it's pretty much impossible to be on the internet and not run into spoilers about this series. 

2. (Helium)

We are having a really strange winter. I'm currently living in Alaska, and our snowfall this year has to be at a record low. We got a few inches just recently, but before that there was only about an inch on the ground, and that was starting to melt. 

I just hope this doesn't ruin breakup. See, there's this huge ditch in our neighborhood that fills up with water when the snow melts, since it's at the bottom of the hill our neighborhood is situated on. The water generally only stays for a few days, but it's fun while it lasts. Or, it will be if our abysmal snowfall rates don't affect it. 

3. (Lithium)

I am really excited about the superhero movies coming out this year (specifically, Avengers: Age of Ultron, Ant-Man, and the new Fantastic Four movie). I'm especially excited to see what Fox does with the Fantastic Four this time around, since their first stab at it wasn't exactly... stellar. 

4. (Beryllium)

You're probably wondering why each of these thoughts is preceded by the name of a chemical. I'm just going to come right out: it's a pun. Periodic, get it? Because at the beginning I sub-titled it Periodic Thoughts About My Life? Heheheheheh.... heh. 

5. (Boron)

My sister is reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. (She's actually reading it here as I type this.) I keep threatening to spoil it for her. Fortunately, she has no idea what's coming. 

Heheheheheheheheh. Heheheheheheheh--

Excuse me. 

6. (Carbon)

Season 5 of Downton Abbey is taking forever to air. We get one episode a week, every Sunday night. And, you know, that wouldn't sting so much if the UK hadn't already gotten the entire season before we even got the premiere!

Sorry. But I am still a little bitter about that one. It just isn't fair. 

7. (Nitrogen) 

We're still working our way through season 1 of Agents of SHIELD. The episodes are getting a bit creepier, and much more frustrating, but at this point there's no way we're going to stop watching. 

8. (Oxygen)

I've started the second semester of Challenge B (the homeschool program I do). It's definitely tough, but I'm starting to enjoy it a little bit (a little bit) more. Fortunately, spring break is March 2-6. And we might be taking a hop to Germany in a couple weeks to visit some friends. So that'll be fun, assuming it happens (it's still up in the air right now). 

***

And that about wraps up my periodic reminisces about my life. (Periodic. Heheheh.) For more information about the Periodic Table, I recommend the awesome book The Elements: A Visual Explanation of Every Known Atom in the Universe, by Theodore Gray. For more about my life, keep reading this blog. 

Bye, and thanks for reading!

And Thus, I Have Created an Alternate Marvel Movie Timeline

Because we totally didn't have enough alternate timelines in Marvel. Nope, all Marvel needs is... another alternate timeline.

But enough about that.

This timeline got started when my sister and I started theorizing about how the Marvel Cinematic Universe would be different if Marvel Studios still owned the X-Men movie rights. (I really, really wish they did...) I got to thinking, and ended up making this movie timeline.

***

X-Men in the Marvel Cinematic Universe 

(If Marvel Studios still owned the X-Men Franchise)

Timeline, including all movies and changes to movies (if any)

Phase One

Iron Man – Mutant Issues are seen on the news and/or in the background of certain scenes. One or two mutants can be seen with the terrorist group that captures Tony Stark.

X-Men – In a post-credits scene, two people can be seen speaking to the World Council on the dangers of mutants. The more anti-mutant person leaves the chamber first, and the second person is revealed to be Nick Fury.

The Incredible Hulk – One of the scientists working with Banner is Hank McCoy. At one point Gen. Ross, an outspoken anti-mutant bigot, rants about mutants to McCoy, not knowing what he is. Later on Hank transforms into Beast in an unsuccessful attempt to stop the Hulk.

Iron Man 2 – No changes

Thor – After Jane Foster’s research is confiscated, Selvig mentions “Dr. McCoy” and “Dr. MacTaggert” among those who have also had things confiscated.

X2: X-Men United – Mention is made of SHIELD’s inability to stop Nightcrawler from entering the White House. Later, in the President’s office, SHIELD agents are present.

Captain America: The First Avenger – During Cap’s USO tours, a boy with wavy brown hair can be seen alongside a girl with grey eyes and blonde hair in one audience. At one point Red Skull mentions “Klaus Schmidt”, a contemporary of his. During the montage of defeated HYDRA bases, Steve can be seen rescuing a young, dark-haired boy, who holds and frequently manipulates a coin.

The Avengers – During the battle with the Chitauri, a very brief cameo can be seen of two mutants (Jubilee and Cannonball) fighting back using their powers. In the aftermath montage, Professor X is seen being interviewed on the battle.

Phase Two

Iron Man 3 – Mutants Sunfire and Sunspot are mentioned to have been used in the Extremis development process. Extremis attacks are at one point wrongly said to be mutant terrorist attacks.

X-Men: First Class – A fledgling SHIELD is seen attempting to stop the Crisis along with the CIA. Captain America comic books can be seen in a few scenes. Charles brings up “the man who rescued you” (Captain America) while attempting to convince Erik that humanity has redemptive qualities.

Thor: The Dark World – No changes

X-Men: Days of Future Past – SHIELD is mentioned as potential buyers for the Sentinel technology and/or mutant DNA information. Logan, Charles, and Hank break Magneto out of prison with the help of a teenaged Gambit. During Magneto’s television broadcast, a boy with silver hair and a girl with red hair, both about twelve years old, are briefly seen watching.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier – Mention is made of the fact that very few agents of SHIELD are mutants. Col. Stryker is revealed to have been affiliated with HYDRA. Sam Wilson is brought down early by the Winter Soldier, causing Steve and Natasha to enlist the help of mutants Archangel and Siryn. When the cloaking technology used by Natasha is removed from her face, it flashes blue, hinting that Mystique may have been involved in its creation.

Guardians of the Galaxy – No changes

Avengers: Age of Ultron – Unknown

***

And that's how I think it should, ideally, be. Of course, it probably won't ever end up being this way. But that's not gonna stop me from dreaming!

What do you think? Could the X-Men be even more involved in the Avengers storyline(s)? Or is it actually better that the two franchises have been kept apart? You tell me!

See you next time!

On Suspense [Review for Captain America: The Winter Soldier]

*Warning: Unmarked spoilers may follow. Viewer discretion is advised.*

Dear Alexander Pierce,

Do you know Dell Rusk? If not, you two should meet for coffee sometime. You might learn some things from each other, like how the Winter Soldier isn't actually 100% stable. If Dell Rusk doesn't exist in your universe, well, contact Kang the Conqueror (that's last name Conqueror, first name Kang). He ought to be able to take you into an alternate universe. 

Also, while you're at it, tell Mr. Jasper Sitwell that he should meet up with Hydra Propeller Guy who got shredded seventy years ago (you know the scene). I think we'll call it "The Tragic and Disturbing but Also Somehow Darkly Amusing Death Scene Club". 

Sincerely, 

A Concerned Fan

***

So, I recently got to see Captain America: The Winter Soldier again. And it was awesome. To give you an idea of how good it was, it was one of the few movies in which my "Oh my gosh" quotient went through the roof on the second viewing. Seriously, it's up there with The Avengers. 

It would be fairly hard to give a really good plot summary without giving out a bunch of spoilers, so I think I'll just jump straight into pros and cons. 

Good/Favorite Bits:

• Ah, where to start... well, first of all, characters. Steve Rogers is back (duh) and he's as morally upright and refreshingly good as ever. Alongside him is Natasha Romanoff, and the new kid on the block, Sam Wilson (a.k.a. The Falcon). Then there's the Winter Soldier, previously known as Bucky Barnes, and Nick Fury, not to mention Alexander Pierce and Maria Hill.
  The characters in this movie were great. Steve's problems with Fury's moral ambiguity were well-fleshed out, and his struggle with the Winter Soldier's identity was great. Agent Romanoff was also good. So was Alexander Pierce... really, everyone was good. 
• In relation to the above point, I'd like to give a special mention to actor Sebastion Stan, who portrayed Bucky Barnes/the Winter Soldier. His ability to portray emotion (or lack of it) through facial expression was amazing. Watch the post-credits scene and you'll know what I'm talking about. 
• The plot is quite snappy, though that means that the movie is also suspenseful and intense (see title). However, there are just enough calm, mostly-dialogue scenes to keep it from being exhaustively fast-paced. 
• The movie works well as a part of the cohesive Marvel Cinematic Universe. Agent Jasper Sitwell, who got one appearance in Thor and a few lines in The Avengers, has an extended role here. It's mentioned that after his "up-close look" at the Helicarrier's rotors, Tony Stark designed new repulsors for a second generation of Helicarriers (and those ships do feature prominently in the movie). Natasha Romanoff is here, of course, and when targets of the neo-Nazi organization H.Y.D.R.A. are listed, Bruce Banner, Tony Stark, and Dr. Steven Strange are among them. Additionally, a mid-credits scene gives us appearances from Baron Strucker, Scarlet Witch, and Quicksilver--all of whom have been confirmed to be in Avengers: Age of Ultron. 
• The visual effects were awesome in this movie. The fight scenes, in particular, were amazing to watch, and I had such a time watching the Falcon with his wingpack. Additionally, the Winter Soldier looks almost exactly the way he did in the comics, particularly in the rooftop chase scene with Captain America, and that's quite an achievement. 
• And that about covers most of the movie, wouldn't you say?

Bad/Least Favorite Bits:

• So I have to ask: Where was Hawkeye in all of this? All Hades was breaking loose in S.H.I.E.L.D., Cap and the Black Widow were on the run, and near the end of the movie all of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s secrets were downloaded onto the internet... so where was Hawkeye? You'd have thought he'd show up at least after everything S.H.I.E.L.D.-related went viral. 
• Um... well, there was a lot of crashing-through-glass in this movie. That always sort of vaguely annoys me, because I know that it should be majorly hurting the characters and it's not. Generally I'm okay when it's, say, Captain America doing it, but when a normal person like Sam Wilson does it and isn't hurt at all I get kind of annoyed. In the back of my head. 
• And, well... hm... um... I kind of liked Fury with his eye patch, you know... What? No! I am not grasping at straws! Whatever gave you that idea?
• Yeah, I'm done. 

Conclusion:

Captain America: The Winter Soldier was good. Very good. I'd go so far as to say it was on par with The Avengers (though it wasn't quite better). The acting and characterization was good, the dialogue was great, the plot was awesome, and the visual effects were amazing. So I guess there's not much left to say, except that I'm giving this movie four and a half stars out of five:

***

And that about wraps this blog post up! See you next time, folks!

I Have a Problem with Characters Getting Killed Off

*Warning: May contain spoilers.*

Okay, well, this blog post may or may not have been influenced by the third-to-last episode of Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes. But really, it's a problem I have with stories where characters die in general. So basically, everything except My Little Pony.

But anyway. I have a serious problem with characters dying in stories. Especially if it's a tearful, melodramatic death scene. As I like to say, you should've seen me during Crookedstar's Promise. It was one giant tearfest.

I don't know exactly why I don't like character death scenes. Maybe it's because I'm a (mostly) normal human being. Actually, it's probably because I'm a mostly normal human being. It might also be because I've seriously scared myself by imagining what I would do if it was me and my sister in the place of those two characters. If my sister got hurt? If, God forbid this should ever happen, she died and I couldn't stop it? If I hurt her? (*coughFrozencoughcough*)

Scary, as I said. So maybe that's the elusive reason.

But my adverse reaction to touching character death scenes is also rather odd. Why? Well, you see, if I'm totally honest, I can be rather sadistic to my fictional characters.

Seriously. It sucks to be one of my characters. If you are one, well, first of all, stop reading this blog. I know where you live. [See? See?] And secondly, run for the hills and don't look back. And hope you don't get captured by elves or eaten by a dragon.

All that to say, a lot of the time I can watch/read/write a character death with something pretty similar to indifference. Other times (*coughcoughWarriorscough*) I melt.

And sometimes I just stare at the screen in shock and horror as one of the characters--one of the heroes--melts before my very eyes.

GOSH DARN YOU EMH SCRIPTWRITERS IF BLACK PANTHER DOESN'T COME BACK SO HELP ME--

Ahem. Please excuse the caps rage, that death scene was rather traumatic for the cynic living in my head.

So yeah, all that to say, I don't like character death. The more I like the character, the less I like the death.
We will always remember the Black Panther.

Ah, not really. He's back now. See? No one ever stays dead in these kinds of shows. 

On Superheroes [Review for Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes]

*Warning: Unmarked spoilers may follow. Viewer discretion is advised.*

Dear Failed Villains Anonymous,

First of all, I'd like you to know that just because you didn't manage to conquer a insignificant little planet full of the most backward beings in the galaxy, that doesn't mean you're a total failure. You just need to find a larger world full of more advanced beings, because, you know, they're always easier to conquer. Just ask Beta Ray Bill. Or the skrulls. You also might want to go back to the University of E.V.I.L. and retake that Harmful Radiations course, because everyone (or almost everyone) knows that 999,999,999,999 times out of 1 billion, gamma radiation will just kill you. 

Sincerely, 
A Concerned Fan

***

Well, since I've already posted some of the things that most annoy me, I'll mostly focus on the counteracting aspects that make me like/dislike this show. So hopefully I won't bash anything too hard, but we'll see. 

Also, I haven't finished the last season yet, so edits may appear later on. 

Now. 

I once said that I like superhero movies in general, and this show in particular, for the action and the character development. That's mostly true. 

The characters, for one thing, are pretty-well fleshed out. You have Iron Man/Tony Stark, the rich, more-than-a-little-bit snarky team leader/financier. You have Captain America/Steve Rogers, the morally upright good cop (most of the time, but we'll go into that later). You have Black Panther/T'Challa--he's the king of Wukanda, but he tends to spend most of his time hanging out with the Avengers. I don't know, maybe he has a deputy or something. Anyway.
There's the Wasp/Janet Van Dyne, the feisty girl endowed with insect-related superpowers, and her employer/love interest/partner Ant-Man, aka Giant-Man, aka Henry "Hank" Pym. And Bruce Banner/Hulk. I don't think he needs much explanation.

And the team gets even larger as the show goes on, but there are spoilers involved, so I'll just try to mention them as I go.

Good/Favorite Bits:

• Hank Pym and Bruce Banner. Seriously. They're probably my two most favorite characters out of the whole gang (with Janet/Wasp as a close second). Why? Well...
  To start, Hank is a pacifist, which means it's a miracle he even joined the Avengers in the first place. Even as one of the team, he's prone to try and find a nonviolent solution, usually leading to the "Can't we talk this out?" question (most villains don't want to talk it out). He's also a scientist, and has a slight tendency to go starry-eyed when confronted by new or different technology/ideas (sadly, few villains can appreciate that as well as I can).
  EDIT: Having watched Yellowjacket, let me just clear something up: I like Ant-Man. I tolerate Yellowjacket.
  As for Dr. Banner, well, I like him about as well as I did in the 2012 Avengers movie. Sadly, he gets a lot less screentime in this version; early on, he and Hulk make a deal, in which Hulk will join the Avengers if he gets to stay the Hulk permanently (he does let Bruce out one day per month). 
• Gambit pileup, aka several villains invoking overlapping plans. You end up with several villains all enacting their plans at once, and the heroes generally are only aware of one or two, maybe three. This gets especially prominent in the opening movements of the skrull invasion (and it will drive you crazy, take it from me). This also shows up when you have Loki and/or the Enchantress doing anything. (Seriously, I bet Loki invokes multiple plans and manipulates people just to go buy milk from the store.)
• The action is good, providing, of course, that the episode isn't 90% smashing the bad guy and only 10% doing everything else (a couple episodes have lost me this way). But it is, to a reasonable extent, fun to watch the combat. Notable favorites to watch are Wasp, Iron Man, Black Panther, and Mockingbird. 
• Finally, the fact that the characters are deep enough to get to me to care about them. Most notable is the fact that when a certain Avenger is replaced by a shape-shifting alien, I go crazy because it's tearing the team apart, I know everything they don't, etc. 

Bad/Least Favorite Bits:

• Stupid villains--and when I say "stupid" I mean "lacking in basic logic functions and/or a decent primary-school education". Probably the most egregious example, to my mind, is the Leader. Enveloping the entire planet in a dome of gamma radiation? Seriously? Trying to turn everyone on the planet into mutant gamma monsters? Really? Naming your newly minted utopia Gamma World? Seriously? I know the episode needed a title drop, but that's just ridiculous. Not to mention obvious. Really. 
• Villains who lack reasonable motivation, other than that they're just EEEEEVIL. (Zemo, I'm looking at you.) Villains who lack backstory explaining alliances/actions. (Amora the Enchantress, I'm looking at you.) Also, villains who lack an explanation for their superpowers or abilities. (MODOK, I'm looking straight. At. You.) Granted, I'm probably know at least some of this stuff if I read the comics, but I don't and haven't, so I kinda expect the show to at least give a few hints. 
• As stated above, episodes that are 90% smashing the villain. Breakout - Part 2 lost me this way, because frankly I tend to bet bored after about ten minutes of heroes smashing Gravitron--Gravitron smashing heroes--heroes smashing Gravitron, wash, rinse, repeat. 
• The Gamma World arc in general just really, really, really annoys me. The first episode was okay; in fact, I was mostly into it (and a couple of characters introduced there come back later, so it's a good thing I was paying attention). But Gamma World - Part 2 was just... no. First of all, the "Leader"'s master plan, as stated above. That alone majorly turned me off. Then the episode devolved into an entirely smash-the-villain-centric plot, and I just... zoned. Honestly, about the only things I remember from that episode are a) Hawkeye and Bruce Banner/Hulk having some nice moments, b) Black Panther and Wasp going feral (literally), and c) Absorbing Man having a nice quasi-gladiatorial fight with Thor.
  EDIT: And now that my siblings have caught me up on what I missed, that episode sound even more idiotic. Apparently our intrepid heroes defeat the Leader by... overloading his brain and expanding his cranium. Somehow. Even though the Leader's entire schtick is having a super-enlarged brain that should be able to take whatever the less enlightened can throw at him. Dear EMH scriptwriters: What the heck?

And now, since I've rambled enough, I'll go on.

Conclusion:

Yes, I'm biased. Yes, I watch this show for fun, not strictly to review it, and yes, I like it. But for the sake of the review I'll try to come to a reasonably objective conclusion. 

My verdict? If you don't like superheroes, you probably won't like it. It's a superhero show; there's not really anything I can do about that. If you like character development and such things, you may like it; if you like action, there's a good chance you'll like this, because there is a lot of action. 

That said, it is for the most part a kids' show (I hear it aired on Disney before being cancelled to make room for another Marvel-related show). So you won't see much blood, or cursing, or innuendos (beyond one female character telling another to "stop playing jealousy games" with a guy who clearly has a crush on her). Personally, I think that's a bonus, but everyone's different. 

So, all that having been said, I think I'll give Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes a solid four stars out of five:

***

Aaaand, with that, the first in my series Reviews of Stuff I Like comes to a close! Next will be... a surprise. Ha. Stay tuned. 

What Not To Do

Or, Fictional Stuff that Really Ticks Me Off.

***

Well, I wanted to start a series of reviews for books and movies I like, but since I'm on vacation that'll have to wait. So instead, you lovely people get a rant.

Also, I'm on my tablet, so feel free to point out any typos you see.

Anyway. On we go. (Links will be provided when appropriate.)

1) Female warriors with waist-length hair.

Tauriel as she appears in Peter Jackson's
The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug

Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow,
as seen in The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes

This one is first because it really bothers me.

To start, I'm going to say a few things about myself. I'm a girl, so my hair is long but not really long. A few inches past my shoulders, at the longest. I keep it in a ponytail 90% of the time because it gets in the way if I keep it down. If I happen to be playing a sport or running around for some reason,  I'll definitely put it up, or even braid it.

So tell me: where is the logic in having loose waist-length hair if you're consistently going to be in a high-risk combat situation?

Answer: there isn't any. Hair that long could very easily get tangled, pulled, yanked out, caught on something, etc. Ever heard the story of Absalom? In case you haven't, he died because his long hair got caught on a tree branch, allowing him to be overtaken and killed.

Killed.

My Solution: Braid. Your. Hair. You want to look attractive and actiony? Well, that's asking for a lot, but that's a different blog. The point is, braid your hair. You get to keep it, and as a bonus it won't endanger you by getting caught so easily.

2) Gamma radiation is not a one-way ticket to super powers.

"That much gamma exposure should've killed you."

–Tony Stark on Bruce Banner's transformation into the Hulk (The Avengers, 2012)

This one came up because of two episodes the Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes series. The basic premise is this: a super-intelligent supervillain plots to take over the world (yawn) by enveloping the entire planet in a dome of gamma radiation, thus turning everyone inside into monsters.

Well, hate to break it to ya, Mr. "Leader" (I'm not kidding. That's his name.), but that would just kill everyone. Really. It would only be you and all those other weirdos from the specialized gamma radiation prison. Because you see, the sad reality is this: gamma radiation doesn't really turn people into monsters. It just... kills them.

I can hear the skeptics now. But you don't have any problem with the Hulk, and HE'S a gamma monster! Explain that one!

Alright, I will.

The thing is, Bruce Banner is one person. One person out of―I don't know―7 trillion people? And I'm willing to believe that that one person might have a specific genetic anomaly that might coincide with a specific level of gamma radiation to create the Hulk.

I am not willing to believe that it'll work for everyone.

My Solution: Um... I got nothing. Just don't use this backstory more than once, I guess.

3) Is it just me, or are humans the least developed, least advanced species ever to exist?

This one I'm dividing into fantasy and sci-fi, since it applies to both.

Fantasy:

Here you have elves (in tune with nature, awesome fighters, or both), dwarves (long-lived, sometimes with earth powers or metal-working powers to boot), dragons (They can breathe fire. 'Nuff said.), and any other fantasy creature you might want (including but not limited to: fairies, gnomes, orcs, hobbits, and shapeshifters). Whichever way you go, you've almost always got creatures that are more powerful, more long-lived, and generally all-around cooler.

Sci-Fi:

There tends to be more freedom of imagination here, but the basics are the same―nonhumans have longevity, six or seven senses, two brains, the ability to regenerate limbs, etc. Whereas humans are just... humans. Additionally, any extraterrestrials usually have technology that blows ours out of the water. 

Now, if you'll notice, the only thing all these fictional species tend to have in common is that they're all, to some degree, better than humans.

Now, I can see where the writers are coming from from their standpoint―if I'm going to use a nonhuman I might as well make them cool, and also different enough to be called nonhuman. But from a fictional standpoint, this is downright embarrassing. Because basically, if you're a human, you're automatically at a disadvantage.

My Solution: Either give the humans some unique abilities of their own, or limit the elves/dragons/shapeshifters/whatever.

4) Contrary to popular belief, it can be extremely hard to learn a new language.

The most egregious offender I know of for this one is probably Eragon. Not only did the titular protagonist learn to read in a week, he also learned a magical second language with minimal fuss or difficulty.

That is not the way things work, ladies and gentlemen.

I'm currently five months into a study of Latin, and I am no conversationalist in that tongue. I have a long way to go. Additionally, I'm in my early teens, and as far as I know my ability to learn a language is already declining. The protagonist of Eragon is two years older than me.

My Solution: For the love of StarClan, be realistic about these things. Don't make it easy, because it's not.

5) There is a thin line between "letting your heroes get off scot free" and "using every other character to blame the heroes for the collateral damage".

For that matter, there's also a line between "having everyone shower your heroes with praise" and "having everyone ignore the heroes... even after they've saved the world".

This is something My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic tends to err in. The Mane Six have saved the world three times (four if you count the Equestia Girls movie, which I don't). Yet we see in multiple episodes that no one seems to know who they are.

Superhero movies also tend to mess up with this. One of the things I like about the 2012 Avengers movie is that it shows a healthy balance here. Sure, some people are asking questions and wondering why the Avengers had to destroy half of New York in their battle. But others are thankful and frankly that's refreshing.

Actually, this leads me to another point...

6) Slandering the guy who can warp the fabric of atomic energy is a BAD IDEA.

Sure, some heroes will do the right thing and keep on saving people, even when they get no respect in return. Sure, some heroes will put up with all the verbal abuse. Some, on the other hand, wouldn't and won't.

Think about it, Mr. Outspoken Newspaper Editor. Do you really want a world where Generic-Man decides to quit his job because he can't catch a break? Do you really want some savvy villain to take advantage of your lies?

Heck, if I were a superhero getting razzed by the local newspaper, I might take a stroll over there and give 'em a piece of my mind. I might even fry some stuff. Sure, Spiderman and Captain America might put up with it, but I'll bet you Iron Man and Thor wouldn't.

My Solution: You don't need to eradicate J. Jonah Jameson and his ilk. They need scapegoats. I get it. That's always been a problem. But please, at least show the people who do care and are thankful. I know they exist, so give them a voice. (This also applies to #5.)

***

And there you have it. Some of the things that majorly bother me, and how they can be avoided. Next blog will be a review, I promise.

A Short PSA: Thanks to a quick bit of tinkering, anonymous comments are now enabled, meaning you can comment without needing a Google account. Just thought I'd mention it.