I Have a Problem with Characters Getting Killed Off

*Warning: May contain spoilers.*

Okay, well, this blog post may or may not have been influenced by the third-to-last episode of Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes. But really, it's a problem I have with stories where characters die in general. So basically, everything except My Little Pony.

But anyway. I have a serious problem with characters dying in stories. Especially if it's a tearful, melodramatic death scene. As I like to say, you should've seen me during Crookedstar's Promise. It was one giant tearfest.

I don't know exactly why I don't like character death scenes. Maybe it's because I'm a (mostly) normal human being. Actually, it's probably because I'm a mostly normal human being. It might also be because I've seriously scared myself by imagining what I would do if it was me and my sister in the place of those two characters. If my sister got hurt? If, God forbid this should ever happen, she died and I couldn't stop it? If I hurt her? (*coughFrozencoughcough*)

Scary, as I said. So maybe that's the elusive reason.

But my adverse reaction to touching character death scenes is also rather odd. Why? Well, you see, if I'm totally honest, I can be rather sadistic to my fictional characters.

Seriously. It sucks to be one of my characters. If you are one, well, first of all, stop reading this blog. I know where you live. [See? See?] And secondly, run for the hills and don't look back. And hope you don't get captured by elves or eaten by a dragon.

All that to say, a lot of the time I can watch/read/write a character death with something pretty similar to indifference. Other times (*coughcoughWarriorscough*) I melt.

And sometimes I just stare at the screen in shock and horror as one of the characters--one of the heroes--melts before my very eyes.

GOSH DARN YOU EMH SCRIPTWRITERS IF BLACK PANTHER DOESN'T COME BACK SO HELP ME--

Ahem. Please excuse the caps rage, that death scene was rather traumatic for the cynic living in my head.

So yeah, all that to say, I don't like character death. The more I like the character, the less I like the death.
We will always remember the Black Panther.

Ah, not really. He's back now. See? No one ever stays dead in these kinds of shows. 

He is Risen

Today is Resurrection Sunday. Easter Sunday, if you'd prefer that. It's not a holiday (holy-day) that I can ignore. It's not one that any of us can or should ignore.

Matt Walsh said it much better than I can, but I'm a writer, so I'll give it my own shot as well. (Though I hope you'll follow that link. It's a very good, fairly succinct post.)

Jesus Christ came to Earth as both man and God incarnate. He walked the land, he gave irrefutable proof that he was the Son of God.

Then, he died a painful, lonely, humiliating death.

After three days, he rose from the dead and appeared to a lot of people--seriously, a lot. At one point he appeared to over five hundred people at one time, but that's kind of beside the point.

After a time, Jesus ascended into heaven. Now I believe he's waiting. At the end of time, he'll come back for his followers.

That's what I believe. Today we Christians celebrate the day when Jesus rose from the dead.

He is risen.

He is risen indeed.

On Snow [Review for Disney's Frozen]

*Warning: Unmarked spoilers for the second half of the movie may follow. If you haven't seen Frozen yet but still want to in the near future, I don't advise reading this blog post.*

Dear White Witch (née Jadis),

Elsa is way better than you. 

Sincerely, 
A Concerned Fan

***

So I finally saw Frozen recently, after it was ordered from Amazon and shipped to my family's house because we never saw it in theaters and we were too lazy to drive five minutes to the nearest BX/Target and get it on DVD.

Also, because Amazon is usually cheaper.

Anyway, I finally saw Frozen. I am now sick of it because all the songs have been in my head ever since. But I saw it, so now I'm going to review it.

Onward we go, I guess.

Good/Favorite Bits:

• The songs. Dear StarClan, the songs. They're amazing (except for Love is an Open Door, which kind of annoyed me--but more on that later), and once they get in your head, they won't quit. But they're nonetheless amazing. 
• Anna. Just... Anna. She is so cute, especially as a kid. Really, it's like the animators looked at Rapunzel from Tangled, said, "We can do cuter", and then did.
• Disney seemed to have a blast upending its own stereotypes in this movie, which I always enjoy. The first love doesn't win the girl, the concept of True Love isn't all about your boyfriend kissing you (boy, did I enjoy that one), and the overall theme is love--real love, not just love of the romantic sort. 
• Olaf. I tend to despise kiddy comic relief characters (seriously, don't even get me started on Jar Jar Binks) but Olaf is really just too funny for me to hate. And that's a good thing. 
• Kristoff. Just... Kristoff. 
• Also, I kinda hate to admit this, but Hans really is gorgeous. (Anna's words, not mine.)

Bad/Least Favorite Bits:

• The very end of Hans's Villain Monologue. I was loving it right up until he said (in response to Anna's "You won't get away with this") "Oh, but I already have."
  ARGH.
  I really can't express how much I despise that line. In my opinion it sent all of Hans's characterization up to that point straight through the window as he became yet another Cliché Disney Villain™. Some of that characterization was recovered when we got to admire his acting skills in the next scene, but still...
• As stated above, I really didn't like Love is an Open Door... which is odd, because I really was enjoying the music up to that point. It's probably because it was yet another Cliché Falling-in-Love-Sequence Song™, which are pretty common in Disney movies. It might also be because it was almost immediately preceded by two other songs, both of which were more original and more moving. It got to the point where Love is an Open Door started and I thought Really? More singing? 
• And... that's really all I've got. 

Conclusion:

Frozen is probably the best Disney movie you'll see for a long while. If you haven't seen it already, I highly recommend buying or renting it. It's fresh and original, but not so much as to be unrecognizable as a Disney film, and it's got a great moral and a heartwarming ending. 

All in all, I give it four and a half out of five stars:

***

And so, another blog post ends. Next review will probably be My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (don't laugh), unless I come up with something else or think of another good topic. 

See you next time, and have a Happy April!

So You Think You Can Annoy the Fans?

Every MLP fan's worst nightmare...

If you've read my review of The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug, you probably know that I don't take kindly to anyone—be they movie director, novelist, or anyone else—messing with my favorite books and movies. Neither do I appreciate the corruption of a franchise I appreciate, such as My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. 

So, with that in mind, here is a top five list of adaptations, sequels, or thinly veiled marketing ploys spinoffs that I did not appreciate. 

***

#5: The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug

I have already taken the liberty of reviewing this atrocious creative movie, so let me just sum up my opinion as this: I didn't like it. The movie in and of itself had some nice moments, and while I didn't appreciate the overtly dark tone, it was overall a pretty fun outing. 

However. 

In the context of being a book adaptation, it was horrid. Almost nothing went according to the original work, characters and backstories were added willy-nilly, and almost half an hour (by my estimate) was spent on a superfluous scene that could have been avoided if the director had just taken the time to expound on the things he should have.

So I didn't like it.
(Please note that the first Hobbit movie, while liberal, was good enough to earn a reasonable rating from me. The second one wasn't. As of the writing of this post the third one hasn't yet been released, but at this point my hopes aren't that high.)

#4: My Little Pony Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks
This one hasn't been released yet, but it's on the list purely because there's a 99.5% chance that it will be just as terrible as its predecessor.

Which leads me to...

#3: My Little Pony: Equestria Girls
I've already linked to the Wikipedia article in the picture at the top of this post, so I'll be brief here:

I don't like Equestria Girls because it's cliché. I don't like Equestria Girls because it's childish. It's generic. It's boring. And it ruined a part of the My Little Pony franchise for me.

Now, don't misread me. I like My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic because it's the opposite of all the adjectives used to describe EqG above. But Equestria Girls? It was terrible, and frankly I think Hasbro sold themselves short. A My Little Pony movie could have been so much more.

#2: Superhero Squad
Oh the horror...

Okay, so this show is (hopefully) supposed to be a parody. Which I didn't know when I tried to watch it. So I probably ended up taking it way too seriously... but still.

This show is just... stupid.

Seriously, that's all I can think of to describe it. The characters are all one-dimensional to the point of being out-of-character, the villains are that plus being clichéd and brain-dead. And there are no alter egos.

So no Tony Stark. No Bruce Banner. No Carol Danvers, Peter Parker, or Steve Rogers. I didn't know how much I loved alter egos until they stopped being there.

 And there is absolutely no character development what. So. Ever.

Conclusion: If you intend to venture out into the juvenile depths of this show, be prepared to take it with a boulder-sized grain of salt.

#1: Disney's Pocahontas
Admittedly, I had a surprisingly Disney-free childhood. To this day I haven't watched a number of their princess movies, though I do tend to like the ones I have had. So that may contribute a bit of bias to this opinion.

But still...

Disney's adaptation of Pocahontas affronted me, mostly because they, apparently, thought they could play fast and loose with the historical facts. Here's a tip: if you don't think X will make a good movie, then just don't make a movie out of it! But don't, for the love of caramel corn, rearrange facts and redesign characters willy-nilly to accommodate your ideal of the movie!
My other major problem with this movie was its characterization. Both of the main characters were two-dimensional at best, and so was the villain and the one of the two supporting characters. The other supporting character did happen to have some halfway-decent characterization, and he ended up being the only reason I finished the movie.

Conclusion: It's a sad, sad, time when you're watching a historical fiction movie... and end up only finishing it for the sake of the one completely fabricated character.

***

And there you have it! Five complain-y mini reviews, all for the price of one!

Tune in next time to hear me complain about even more stuff!

Or maybe review Star Wars: The Clone Wars. I'm not sure yet. 

And that's all for now, folks!