The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies

*Warning: The following post contains unmarked spoilers for both book and movie. Viewer discretion is advised.*

So, I recently went to see The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies, the final installment in the Hobbit movie trilogy, and Peter Jackson's final movie set in Middle-Earth (at least to date). It was reasonably good, I suppose, and there were things about it I enjoyed; but there were also disappointing moments. I will detail my thoughts (concerning both this movie and all the movies in general) below,

***

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Enjoyment

• I went into this movie with my expectations vastly lowered from where they were going into The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug. Therefore, I did manage to enjoy most of it. 
• Case in point: the portrayal of Thorin slowly losing himself to greed and 'dragon-sickness' after reconquering Erebor. Richard Armitage's acting is amazing, and the moments between him and Bilbo (Martin Freeman) are amazing to watch. I also think the portrayal of the other dwarves' positions was well done--they want to be loyal, because that's what's gotten them this far, but it's increasingly hard to be loyal to someone so selfish. 
• Bard was, again, a favorite character (though he still doesn't quite match the character I imagined when reading the book). His daughters had less screentime, I think, than in Desolation of Smaug, but his son Bain had some more scenes, and I loved that. 
• The visuals were amazing, but then, this is Peter Jackson's Middle-Earth we're talking about here, so yeah. 

The Hobbit: Desolation of Jackson

• As with Desolation of Smaug (and, to an extent, An Unexpected Journey), there were several deviations from the book here, though overall it was rather accurate. According to Middle-Earth history, Azog the Defiler really shouldn't be alive in the time this movie takes place, but that's been a problem since the first movie. Angmar wasn't involved in the book, and neither was Sauron really, and there really weren't all that many orcs present at the Battle of Five Armies, but oh well. Orcs, whattcha gonna do. 
• My biggest problem with this movie was probably the death scenes (for Thorin, Fili, and Kili). This kind of ties in with the portrayal of the battle in general, so please forgive me for being a bit long-winded.
  When reading the book, I always imagined the battle as taking place in front of Erebor, and only in front of Erebor. Sure, there was Ravenhill, but that wasn't very far up or far away from the main battle. I definitely didn't envision a cliff that far removed from the battle.
  Consequently, I always imagined Thorin, Fili, and Kili going down in battle together. Perhaps Thorin would fall, Fili and Kili would swoop to defend their uncle, and they would all die together. Or Fili and Kili would die trying to protect each other, because they're brothers, they've been together forever, and there is nothing they would not do to protect each other.
  But this is not how things happened in the movie.
  To make a long story short, Thorin, Fili, and Kili (along with Dwalin) leave the main battle and head up Ravenhill (or shall I say, Ravencliff) to try and kill the orcs' leader(s). Fili and Kili get sent out scouting, and then are surrounded when orcish reinforcements arrive. They get separated, and then they and Thorin are essentially picked off one by one.
  What the ever-loving fudge, Peter Jackson? I mean, come on! Fili didn't even get a chance to fight before the orcs killed him! And sure, Kili saw him die and tried to have a roaring rampage of revenge and stuff. But come on, they've been this heartwarming pair since the first movie and you're not even going to let them die together? That aside, you're not even going to let Fili, heir to the throne of Erebor and Thorin Oakenshield's nephew, have a fighting chance before he dies?
• And then naturally Tauriel shows up. Look, I'm sorry about this, Tauriel, I really am. I wanted to like you. I overlooked your less-than-original relationships with Kili and Legolas all through Desolation of Smaug. I reveled in your action scenes and tried to forget what I didn't like about you. But after that death scene with Kili and Thranduil, I am done. 
  (See? Peter Jackson can't even get me to like a character that I wanted to like.)
• Finally, I feel like the titular battle was far too drawn out. I get that it was an integral part of the movie and junk, and sure the action was fun to watch, but eventually it gets to the point where you're just wondering when it's going to end. 

The Hobbit: There and Back Again

• I'm... not really sure how to feel about the Hobbit movie trilogy. On the one hand, there are--were--things I wanted to see in movie format. I was excited about the scene at the beginning of Desolation of Smaug, where Thorin and Gandalf first meet. I was happy to see all thirteen of the dwarves in the company fleshed out and represented. And of course, the visual shots are amazing, the action is fun to watch, and there's a decent bit of humor here and there too. 
• But then there are the downsides. And there are quite a few downsides--most likely enough to outweigh the good.
  To begin with, there are the chronological errors. My biggest problem with the series at this point is that Azog the Defiler is still alive. According to Middle-Earth history, Azog was killed at the Battle of Anulzibzar Moria by Dain, Thorin's cousin. Azog's son Bolg--who also appears in the movie trilogy--was the one who spearheaded the orcish attacks, because Azog was, y'know, dead at the time. So here we have Peter Jackson messing up history on two accounts--one, Azog should've died at Moria, and two, it should've been Dain that killed him.
• The whole Necromancer/Sauron subplot--which I have complained about before--was not, as I originally thought, wholly fabricated by Jackson. The White Council did, in fact, drive Sauron out of Dol Guldor and into the Mordor area, in the same year that Erebor was retaken. However, this doesn't mean I'm willing to let the matter pass. I do not think that such a storyline should have been included in the Hobbit movies, particularly when it had nothing to do with any of the main characters. The only thread connecting that story to the main one was Radaghast, and it was a tenuous thread indeed--since Radaghast wasn't involved in The Hobbit to begin with. 
• My final main point about this series was Tauriel. As stated above, I wanted to like Tauriel. I really did. But with all that happened in the movies, I couldn't. I'm not sure if it was the screenwriter's fault, or Mr. Jackson's, or both, but I just don't feel like Tauriel brought anything new to the table in terms of... well, anything. Yes, she was action-y. So was literally everybody else. Yes, she provided romance. I wasn't particularly looking for romance in these movies, not gonna lie. And really, when it comes down to it, I just didn't feel too much personality from Tauriel. Which is a shame, because I wanted to like her. 

Conclusion

Well, this concludes my reviews of the Hobbit trilogy (much as Battle of the Five Armies concluded Jackson's Tolkien movies). We've been through the good, the bad, and the ugly, and if you've stayed with me this far, thank you. I appreciate that. 

Ah, well. I'd better not get too sentimental. I've still got plenty of things to obsess over and talk about on my blog. And with school coming up fast (faster than I'd like), there's that, too. 

So. I'm giving the Hobbit trilogy three stars out of five, for the sake of things. 

And that's the end of that. 

The Many Faces of Evil

Before I start in on this, please just note that this post probably isn't going to be as dark as the title may imply. Just bear with me for a moment and you'll find out why I called it this.

To start, has anyone heard of Jim Weiss? Anyone? (Rhetorical question.) Well, in case you haven't, Jim Weiss is a narrator, among other things (I think). He narrated The Story of the World and has a number of re-told stories on audio. During an IDEA curriculum fair here in Alaska, we had the privilege of getting to hear him speak on a topic that I was very excited about: villains, both in real life and in stories.

One of the things I liked about the talk was that Mr. Weiss made several references to Lord of the Rings. This having been said, he started off with what may be the most well-known type of villain: the Dark Lord uber-evil over-arching totally bad supervillain. And of course, he used a well-known example: Lord Sauron from LotR.

Sauron is obviously the over-arching villain of the trilogy. He created the One Ring, and the whole problem is that he now wants it back, for the purpose of destroying/enslaving/taking over the world.
[Insert totally off-topic rant about how Isildur is a complete jerk/idiot for not destroying the Ring when he had the chance here]. So we have Sauron, the supervillain.

But there is something interesting about Sauron that you will notice (at least once it's pointed out to you). J. R. R. Tolkien never actually shows us Sauron. We see Sauron's minions all the time, and we see what they're doing to Middle-Earth. We even know what Sauron looks like. So we know he's real, very real, and yet we never actually see him. 

Now the movies may have ruined this effect by physically showing us Sauron more than once. But in the books, this is very well-preserved.

The Warriors equivalent to this type of villain would be Tigerstar. In the Wingfeather Saga, it's Gnag the Nameless (to a very similar extent, in fact). In Harry Potter, the main villain is obviously Voldemort. And then there's Chancellor/Emperor Palpatine of Star Wars. The point is, most stories have a general over-arching villain.

Then there is the next type of villain. The suave, smooth-talking villain that promises he'll give you whatever you want... if you'll just do x for him. The way Mr. Weiss actually illustrated this is by using the example of Satan.

Satan, Satan himself, would fall into the category of the over-arching supervillain. We all pretty much know this. But what about Satan's alter ego Lucifer?

Lucifer, to answer my own rhetorical question, would qualify as the smooth-talking villain described above. He doesn't appear blatantly threatening--far from it, in fact. But he very insidious and very dangerous.

The character Sol from Warriors definitely qualifies as this type of villain. He is very smooth-talking and is frequently forgiven by characters that he wrongs. Yet he is a villain. Actually, this deceptive tactic of his is quite frustrating. The characters frequently see him as non-threatening, when most of the time he's behaving in a way that makes you want to drop-kick him right out of the story.

Another example I can think of is Grima Wormtongue from LotR. It's obvious--especially in the movie--that Grima is a lying creep, but the only person who tries to address this is banished, and no one else tries to resolve the matter until Gandalf shows up.

Another example is Semiramis from the series Dragons in Our Midst. Semiramis is the mother of a one of the villains, and she is a villain... I think. Seriously, half the reason I hate her so much is because it's been literally impossible for me to figure out which side Semiramis is on. First, she's helping  her son take over the world... but then he's brutally mutilated by the other bad guy, so she goes over to the good side and helps save a young girl's life. She even tells the good guys how to get around the bad guys' scheme... but wait, her 'solution' was really just part of the plan all along! Hah! She's a bad guy! Wait, hang on, no, she still hates the real bad guy, she's just trying to get what she can out of it too. No, she's a bad guy, she's trying to kidnap Bonnie. Oh wait, no, she's only helping her son, and now she's helping out the protagonist... Wait! She just kidnapped someone! Oh, wait, no... ARGH. See what I mean?

I'm sure there are many other villains who fall into this category, but I can't currently think of any, so I'll leave it at that and move on to the next category.

This third type of villain is perhaps the worst of them all. Mostly due to the fact that he is rarely recognized as a true villain. This is the villain who is evil, unfalteringly evil, and yet he looks just like one of us. He could be one of us. He was one of us. But he chose to be evil.

This type of villain is very insidious, because they are so easy to pass up. They look normal, and usually act normal. There's nothing to suspect.

Or is there?

In other cases, this villain was originally a good guy/on the good guys' side/neutral. But he became a villain, and now he's in prime position to betray the good guys as soon as their backs are turned...

Do you now see why I occasionally yell at my books?

I'll use Lord of the Rings as an example for this one. Take Boromir. He begins lusting after the One Ring early on, and we see this when he suggests that the Ring be used for good (which is completely impossible, btw). From that point on, we slowly begin seeing Boromir's lust as it grows, up until the point where he threatens Frodo in an attempt to get the Ring. My point here, however, is that originally, Boromir's excuse for wanting the Ring was more or less "I'm going to use the Ring for good. I'm going to use it to save my people." The same with Denethor, in fact. But neither of these characters lived to see the end of the war.

Coincidence? I think NOT!

Ahem...
A fourth category of villain, which seems to be  fairly new, is demonstrated in the popular series The Hunger Games. What is this type of villain, you ask?

The system.

In Hunger Games, the system is the spider that sits at the center of the web. The system is what's brought about everything: Panem, the Districts, the Hunger Games, and the vicious cycle everyone lives in. To triumph, the rebels have to defeat the system and start from scratch. It's the same (at least I think it is) in 1984 (I say I think so because I've never actually read it).

As Mr. Weiss pointed out in his talk, this new villain known as 'the system' may stem from the growing amount of conspiracy theories today, which it turn may come from our desire to know why things happen. Why was President Kennedy assassinated? Who did it? Was it just one person, or were there more?

We may never know the answers...

In conclusion, there is more than one type of villain to be seen--both in stories and in life. There is more than one road to evil... which is why it pays to read stories. :-D

So what are your thoughts on villains in stories? What about villains in real life? Please tell me!

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Hi, everyone!

I've just gotten back from my second time seeing The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey in theaters! One of my new favorite movies. I love middle-earth...

So, as promised, I will do a review. I'm new at this, so bear with me. And if a few characters butt in along the way, well, it's not my fault. (At least, it's not completely my fault...)

Yes it is. It so is. You're the one letting us--

Ahem. No one saw that, right? Right. You didn't see anything.

So, on with the review...

*****

The movie opens in the Shire. Bilbo, as he appears in the Lord of the Rings movies, is going through some of his things and eventually finds a red leather book, which he takes to his desk and begins to write in. He is apparently narrating this to Frodo, saying that although he told the truth about his 'adventure', he did not tell him the whole thing.

Frodo comes out of the pantry and, after getting the mail, sees what Bilbo is doing. Bilbo sort of snaps at him, telling him that the book isn't ready to be read.

Frodo and Bilbo have a short conversation about Gandalf, and then Frodo runs off, saying he wants to surprise Gandalf.

And cue the opening scene of the Fellowship of the Ring...

But I'm getting off track. Anyways, Bilbo goes on with his narrative, saying that the story begins in a faraway place, the likes of which you won't find anymore in middle-earth.

And cue what is essentially the prologue of the movie. It is explained how there was a mountain called Erebor and that near it was the city of Dale. Dale prospered, and Erebor was ruled by the great Thror, King under the Mountain, greatest of the dwarf-lords. It is mentioned that Thror had a son, Thrain, and a grandson, Thorin.

And all my fellow LOTR/The Hobbit fans know who that is.

Anyway...

Okay, wait. I don't want to give away the entire plot. I think I've said too much already. I'll go onto the technical aspects of the review. E, don't you dare say a word.

Herm, hmmm, yes. I think my new story idea is influencing me. Treebeard, don't you dare say a word. Anyway...

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is a good movie. There are several humorous and/or witty parts, most likely because The Hobbit is more of a children's book than Lord of the Rings is. The filmmakers, in my opinion, did an excellent job of making each of the thirteen dwarves have their own look.



Fili-- 

and Kili--

At your service!

Ori

Gloin, father of Gimli

Bombur



Bofur

Thorin Oakenshield--leader of the Dwarves
(And uncle to Fili and Kili)

The score is, of course, simply amazing. A main theme, maybe even more so than the original LOTR theme is the song of Erebor:

Far over the misty mountains cold,

To dungeons deep, and caverns old,

We must away ere break of day,

To seek the pale enchanted gold.



That's the first verse. It goes on, I believe... but anyway, great song, amazing score.

One bone I have to pick with the filmmakers is all of the things they added to the story. For one thing, the prologue I mentioned earlier is probably at least thirty minutes long. All of that wasn't necessary--they could have woven it through the story like it was in the book. Then there's some other things they added--

• For one thing, we finally meet Radagast the Brown, one of Gandalf's fellow wizards. Radagast prefers the company of animals over men (I know how he feels sometimes), and lives alone in the Mirkwood, which in this version is also known as the Greenwood. Radagast finds out about the giant spiders in the Mirkwood and reports this to Gandalf. They find that this is the fault of... The Necromancer.

For all those non-LOTR/The Hobbit fans out there (you know who you are), The Necromancer is another name for either:
A) The Witch-king of Angmar, Suaron's #1 Ringwraith or
B) Sauron himself. Both are prime villains. 

Now, contrary to popular belief, The Necromancer is actually somewhat involved in The Hobbit. Here is exactly what is said about him in the book:

"Your grandfather," said the wizard slowly and grimly, "gave the map to his son for safety before he went to the mines of Moria. Your father went away to try his luck with the map after your grandfather was killed; and lots of adventures of a most unpleasant sort he had, but he never got near the Mountain. How he got there I don't know, but I found him a prisoner in the dungeons of the Necromancer."

"Whatever were you doing there?" asked Thorin with a shudder, and all the dwarves shivered.

"Never you mind. I was finding things out, as usual; and a nasty dangerous business it was. Even I, Gandalf, only just escaped. I tried to save your father, but it was too late. He was witless and wandering, and had forgotten almost everything except the map and the key."

"We have long ago paid the goblins of Moria," said Thorin; "we must give a thought to the Necromancer."

"Don't be absurd! He is an enemy far beyond the powers of all the dwarves put together, if they could all be collected again from the four corners of the world. The one thing your father wished was for his son to read the map and use the key. The dragon and the Mountain are more than big enough tasks for you!"

So, this having been said, why did the movie makers feel the need to include The Necromancer in the movie?

• Secondly, there's another subplot added featuring none other than Azog the Defiler, a.k.a. the Pale Orc. Of course, there's another thirty minutes of backstory about this. So, as the story goes, after Smaug the dragon attacked and captured Erebor, the dwarves tried to go to the mines of Moria. Unfortunately, the orcs got there first. A large battle ensues. Azog has sworn to wipe out the line of Durin (that would be Thror, Thrain, and Thorin). Azog beheads Thror, and Thrain goes mad with grief. It is unknown what happened to him. Thorin tries to take revenge and gets his tail whupped, nearly losing an arm. After losing his shield, he uses an oak branch to shield himself from Azog's attacks (hence his name, Thorin Oakenshield). Thorin ends up cutting half of Azog's arm off, and the orc is dragged back into Moria, "mortally" wounded. The dwarves win the day, but their dead number too many to count.

So now, not only do we have a near-pointless subplot involving The Necromancer, but a completely random orc villain is thrown in to boot. Of course, the orcs hunting the dwarves provides a good amount of the action in the movie.

Several other smaller plot points are changed. A few of these are

1. Galadriel and Saruman showing up at Rivendell while the dwarves are there,
2. the ponies conveniently bolting when the orcs & wargs (think evil wolves with large heads) show up, instead of being lost in the mountains, and
3. the dwarves leaving Rivendell on their own, without Elrond's blessing.

All I'm saying is that after a while, it gets annoying.

Overall, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is good, though it doesn't quite live up to my expectations. My score for the movie is: B-. It could have been lower, but the epic battle scenes, amazing CG effects, and numerous humor points help bring the rating up.

Rating: PG-13
Violence: Lots, though most is directed at creatures we don't mind seeing killed. There is a low amount of gore during one scene.
Cursing: None
Sex: None
Other: There are several frightening images, i.e. goblins, trolls, giant spiders, orcs, wargs, and a dragon incinerating everything in sight, though it should be noted that the dragon is never actually fully seen. It is also mentioned that The Necromancer can summon spirits from the dead.

Favorite Quotes:
Bilbo: [Reading contract] Dwarves not responsible for various injuries including but not limited to... laceration... incineration?
Bofur: Oh yes. Dragons can melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye!
Bilbo: [Leans over and begins to take deep breaths] I'm fine. Yes, I'm fine.
Bofur: Think furnace--with wings! Searing heat, a flash of light, and poof, you're nothing but a pile of ashes!
Bilbo: No. [Faints]

{The dwarves have previously been captured by trolls. Half are being roasted (alive) over a fire, and the other half are in sacks.}
Troll: Let's season 'em. We could use some sage--
Bilbo: [Hops up] You're making a big mistake here, you know.
Troll: Huh? Why?
Bilbo: I mean, have you smelled them? You're going to need something a lot stronger than sage to make them taste good.
Troll #2: Make him shut up!
Troll #1: No, no, let 'im talk. What is the secret to cooking dwarf, then?
Bilbo: Well, the secret to cooking dwarf is... um...
Troll: Yes? Yes?
Bilbo: The secret to cooking dwarf is to... to skin them! Yes, to skin them!

{Later during this same scene}
Troll: [Picks up dwarf to eat whole]
Bilbo: I wouldn't eat him if I were you. He's got--worms, in his... tubes.
Troll: Uggh! [Immediately drops dwarf]
Bilbo: They're all riddled, in fact, with parasites. I wouldn't risk it if I were you, I really wouldn't.
Dwarves: Hey, we don't have parasites! What are you talking about, you--
Thorin: [Whacks dwarves and gives them a meaningful look]
Dori: I've got parasites as big as my arm!
Kili: I've got loads of parasites! Millions of parasites!

{The dwarves have just entered Rivendell. They are surrounded by elven riders and naturally very suspicious.}
Elrond: Thorin Oakenshield, son of Thrain, son of Thror. I knew your grandfather, you know.
Thorin: Oh really? He made no mention of you.
Elrond: [Says something in Elvish]
Gloin: Is he offering us insult!?
Gandalf: My good dwarf, he is offering you food.
Gloin: Oh. Well, in that case, we'd be honored.

{Elrond, Galadriel, Gandalf, and Saruman are in Rivendell, discussing the apparent problem of The Necromancer.}
Saruman: But can we really trust what Radagast says? He--
Gandalf: He's odd, I'll grant you that. But he lives a solitary life.
Saruman: No! It's not that. It's his excessive consumption of mushrooms!

{Bilbo has managed, half intentionally, to slip away from the goblins. He is confronting Gollum in the depths of the mountains.}
Bilbo: I'm lost, so if you'll just show me the way out, I'll be on my way.
Gollum: Oh! We knows the way out for the hobbitses, we knows! Shut up!
Bilbo: I didn't say anything.
Gollum: We wasn't talking to you!

{Later during this same scene}
Gollum: [Says riddle]
Bilbo: Hmmm...
Gollum: ...Oh, we knows it, we knows! Shut up!

{The dwarves, helped by Gandalf, have just made a daring escape from the goblins in the Misty Mountains. They were trapped on a falling section of bridge, but have made it to the bottom fairly unharmed.}
Bofur: Well, that could've been worse.
Goblin King: [Lands on top of the dwarves, already dead]
Dwalin: [Underneath several beams of wood] You've got to be joking!