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| Every MLP fan's worst nightmare... |
If you've read my review of The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug, you probably know that I don't take kindly to anyone—be they movie director, novelist, or anyone else—messing with my favorite books and movies. Neither do I appreciate the corruption of a franchise I appreciate, such as My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.
So, with that in mind, here is a top five list of adaptations, sequels, or thinly veiled marketing ploys spinoffs that I did not appreciate.
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#5: The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug
I have already taken the liberty of reviewing this atrocious creative movie, so let me just sum up my opinion as this: I didn't like it. The movie in and of itself had some nice moments, and while I didn't appreciate the overtly dark tone, it was overall a pretty fun outing.
However.
In the context of being a book adaptation, it was horrid. Almost nothing went according to the original work, characters and backstories were added willy-nilly, and almost half an hour (by my estimate) was spent on a superfluous scene that could have been avoided if the director had just taken the time to expound on the things he should have.
So I didn't like it.
(Please note that the first Hobbit movie, while liberal, was good enough to earn a reasonable rating from me. The second one wasn't. As of the writing of this post the third one hasn't yet been released, but at this point my hopes aren't that high.)
#4: My Little Pony Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks
This one hasn't been released yet, but it's on the list purely because there's a 99.5% chance that it will be just as terrible as its predecessor.
Which leads me to...
#3: My Little Pony: Equestria Girls
I've already linked to the Wikipedia article in the picture at the top of this post, so I'll be brief here:
I don't like Equestria Girls because it's cliché. I don't like Equestria Girls because it's childish. It's generic. It's boring. And it ruined a part of the My Little Pony franchise for me.
Now, don't misread me. I like My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic because it's the opposite of all the adjectives used to describe EqG above. But Equestria Girls? It was terrible, and frankly I think Hasbro sold themselves short. A My Little Pony movie could have been so much more.
#2: Superhero Squad
Oh the horror...
Okay, so this show is (hopefully) supposed to be a parody. Which I didn't know when I tried to watch it. So I probably ended up taking it way too seriously... but still.
This show is just... stupid.
Seriously, that's all I can think of to describe it. The characters are all one-dimensional to the point of being out-of-character, the villains are that plus being clichéd and brain-dead. And there are no alter egos.
So no Tony Stark. No Bruce Banner. No Carol Danvers, Peter Parker, or Steve Rogers. I didn't know how much I loved alter egos until they stopped being there.
And there is absolutely no character development what. So. Ever.
Conclusion: If you intend to venture out into the juvenile depths of this show, be prepared to take it with a boulder-sized grain of salt.
#1: Disney's Pocahontas
Admittedly, I had a surprisingly Disney-free childhood. To this day I haven't watched a number of their princess movies, though I do tend to like the ones I have had. So that may contribute a bit of bias to this opinion.
But still...
Disney's adaptation of Pocahontas affronted me, mostly because they, apparently, thought they could play fast and loose with the historical facts. Here's a tip: if you don't think X will make a good movie, then just don't make a movie out of it! But don't, for the love of caramel corn, rearrange facts and redesign characters willy-nilly to accommodate your ideal of the movie!
My other major problem with this movie was its characterization. Both of the main characters were two-dimensional at best, and so was the villain and the one of the two supporting characters. The other supporting character did happen to have some halfway-decent characterization, and he ended up being the only reason I finished the movie.
Conclusion: It's a sad, sad, time when you're watching a historical fiction movie... and end up only finishing it for the sake of the one completely fabricated character.
So I didn't like it.
(Please note that the first Hobbit movie, while liberal, was good enough to earn a reasonable rating from me. The second one wasn't. As of the writing of this post the third one hasn't yet been released, but at this point my hopes aren't that high.)
#4: My Little Pony Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks
This one hasn't been released yet, but it's on the list purely because there's a 99.5% chance that it will be just as terrible as its predecessor.
Which leads me to...
#3: My Little Pony: Equestria Girls
I've already linked to the Wikipedia article in the picture at the top of this post, so I'll be brief here:
I don't like Equestria Girls because it's cliché. I don't like Equestria Girls because it's childish. It's generic. It's boring. And it ruined a part of the My Little Pony franchise for me.
Now, don't misread me. I like My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic because it's the opposite of all the adjectives used to describe EqG above. But Equestria Girls? It was terrible, and frankly I think Hasbro sold themselves short. A My Little Pony movie could have been so much more.
#2: Superhero Squad
Oh the horror...
Okay, so this show is (hopefully) supposed to be a parody. Which I didn't know when I tried to watch it. So I probably ended up taking it way too seriously... but still.
This show is just... stupid.
Seriously, that's all I can think of to describe it. The characters are all one-dimensional to the point of being out-of-character, the villains are that plus being clichéd and brain-dead. And there are no alter egos.
So no Tony Stark. No Bruce Banner. No Carol Danvers, Peter Parker, or Steve Rogers. I didn't know how much I loved alter egos until they stopped being there.
And there is absolutely no character development what. So. Ever.
Conclusion: If you intend to venture out into the juvenile depths of this show, be prepared to take it with a boulder-sized grain of salt.
#1: Disney's Pocahontas
Admittedly, I had a surprisingly Disney-free childhood. To this day I haven't watched a number of their princess movies, though I do tend to like the ones I have had. So that may contribute a bit of bias to this opinion.
But still...
Disney's adaptation of Pocahontas affronted me, mostly because they, apparently, thought they could play fast and loose with the historical facts. Here's a tip: if you don't think X will make a good movie, then just don't make a movie out of it! But don't, for the love of caramel corn, rearrange facts and redesign characters willy-nilly to accommodate your ideal of the movie!
My other major problem with this movie was its characterization. Both of the main characters were two-dimensional at best, and so was the villain and the one of the two supporting characters. The other supporting character did happen to have some halfway-decent characterization, and he ended up being the only reason I finished the movie.
Conclusion: It's a sad, sad, time when you're watching a historical fiction movie... and end up only finishing it for the sake of the one completely fabricated character.
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And there you have it! Five complain-y mini reviews, all for the price of one!
Tune in next time to hear me complain about even more stuff!
Or maybe review Star Wars: The Clone Wars. I'm not sure yet.
And that's all for now, folks!
LOL! love it! you do awsome blogs!
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