Yep, it's that time of week again! Saturday! When I blog about something no one else cares about and use an unearthly amount of exclamation points and strikethroughs!
Yeah, I think Saturday also effects my ability to blog coherently. But at least I'm being productive, unlike SOMEONE I KNOW!
So, you're wondering about what I wrote at the top of the... post... aw dang, did I strikethrough that? Goshdarnit, I did! Oh well, everyone knows you can still read it when it's strikethroughed (is that even a word?). So, you're wondering why I wrote that? Well, first of all, let me just say that when you're reading a book, it really, really stinks when that book is only thirty pages long and cuts off in the middle of some really promising dialogue.
Oh, right, left out the bit about the continuity snarls, didn't I? Well, reading reviews will do that to you, because Warriors has so. Frinkin'. Many. CONTINUITY ERRORS!
All I'm saying is, you get fed up with it after a while.
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Aaaaaand all of that up there was just a long, completely pointless introduction to a blog about The Continuing Story!
I'd probably better explain.
You, see, a long time ago,
Or the Continuing Story for short.
I actually didn't participate in the first episode. That episode was really just poor Anakin getting chased around the galaxy by a bunch of Littlest Pet Shops that wanted to abduct him.
Or something like that, I don't really know.
Well, I eventually got pulled into it, and found it was actually fun. So we made a pact that all three of us absolutely had to be present in order to play the Continuing Story. The next episode came out shortly.
A couple notes--first of all, we were only playing these episodes, not filming them. Secondly, at the time, all we had was an Anakin Lego minifigure from a set my little brother had gotten. We threw together some makeshift minifigs for Ahsoka, Obi-Wan, and R2-D2, and that was our cast.
So, episode two was... a repeat of Anakin getting chased by the Littlest Pet Shops. Only these LPSes were Anakin's friends. They were only trying to invite him to a party, but after the chaos of episode one, Anakin was unduly paranoid and didn't want anything to do with them. But as it turned out, it was a good thing Anakin didn't trust his friends, because the 'party' was just a ruse to get him back on Tattooine, his notorious home planet. From there, these two guys were planning to kidnap and re-enslave Anakin.
So, after the LPSes failed to convince Anakin, the two guys from Tattooine took matters into their own hands and went after him. Conveniently, the 'Jedi base' our characters were stationed at was on,
And scene.
When episode three rolled around, Anakin was being kept prisoner by the guys. Apparently the scheme had worked, because Anakin was now working for the guys, who, rather than fleeing the scene of the crime had--get this--stayed right where they were on Tattooine.
And if that's not enough to make you laugh/cry/fling you computer across the room, here's more: Anakin, rather than trying to escape the guys' collapsible house
So, back on the 'Jedi base', Ahsoka and Obi-Wan figure out that Anakin is missing and search every planet in the sector but Tattooine for him. *Facepalm* I would like to also note here that, coincidentally, while Anakin had a sleek one-person speeder, Ahsoka and Obi-Wan were riding around in a tiny, pieced-together two-seater with a hand-held radio. This was because we only had one Lego Star Wars set at the time (the speeder) and had to piece together everything else, but still.
Anyway, on Day 7 of Anakin's captivity, the doorbell of the house rings.
But wait! Why are the Separatists attacking a tiny house in the middle of nowhere? Why aren't they targeting the 'Jedi base', where they might actually be able to do some damage?
Well, anyway, the Separatists attack. The guys, being cowards, dive into their house, apparently not realizing that some well-aimed blaster fire is all it'll take to bring that house down on their heads. Or maybe they did realize it, but figured the battle droids were too bad of an aim to hit any critical supports. Whatever the case, the guys hide, and Anakin, being handcuffed to one of them, is dragged in with them. But then a battle droid discovers the lever that collapses the house, and... well, you can guess what happens next.
Long story short, the guys and Anakin are captured--and apparently, Anakin is too dirty to be recognized by the droids, and it taken for an ordinary prisoner.
And scene.
Episode four opens with Anakin being kept prisoner in (surprise surprise) a Separatist base. Things look bleak...
But wait! Ahsoka and Obi-Wan have conveniently gotten wind of this base and are on their way to attack it and rescue the prisoners!
So the two Jedi arrive, fight their way in in a fairly decent scene, and head off to rescue the prisoners. Naïveté Time: Apparently, the two guys from Tattooine have joined up with the Separatists and are now on their side! *Facepalm*
So only Anakin is rescued by the two other Jedi. Then they have a joyful reunion, right?
Nope.
Anakin has not had a bath/shower since being captured, and it still so dirty that no one can recognize him. The Jedi take him for an ordinary guy.
That on its own would be bad enough, but then Obi-Wan figures out that Anakin is 'Force-sensitive' and--get this--decides to train him as a Jedi!
*Headdesk*
Another thing. Where, you may ask, was the Jedi High Council in all of this?
I have no earthly idea where they were. They were probably floating in a black hole of some kind, which kinda-sorta makes sense, considering that we didn't know they existed when we played this episode.
Anyways, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka bring Anakin back to their base. Obi-Wan goes off to take care of some 'important business'
Well, that got all of three inches off of the ground before it flopped. As I remember, it went something like this:
Ahsoka: So, this is a lightsaber.
Anakin: Listen, Snips. I--
Ahsoka: Don't you dare call me that! Only Anakin calls me that!
Anakin: *Facepalm*
Yeah.
Well, eventually, Anakin got a bath, and lo and behold! It really was him all the time!
And scene.
Episode five wasn't actually too bad in terms of our naïveté. It was a stand-alone episode, with a pretty simple plot: During a space battle, Ahsoka crash-lands and is stranded on Alderaan. (Which, by the way, was one of three planets we knew about at the time. The other two were Tattooine and Dantooine.) Ahsoka is almost captured by the Separatists before Anakin and Obi-Wan rescue her.
I have two main problems with this episode. The first is that, as far as I know, Alderaan is a Republic planet. You could say it was being invaded at the time, but that doesn't explain the free movement of the Separatist army on the planet.
The second problem (and this one is just atrocious) is this: Due to our lack of battle droid minifigures, we made up a different Separatist army. And that army was called... the army of pants.
*Headdesk*
Anyway... all the army of pants really was was a bunch of Lego pants formed into an army. That was the army of pants' first and only appearance in the Continuing Story. Strangely, they never showed up after that.
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Around this time, We went to visit my uncle, who lives in California. While we were there, we went on a trip to LEGOLAND. And, as it turned out... there was a Star Wars exhibit there.
We learned so much from that exhibit. For one thing, we learned that there were planets called Naboo, Geonosis, Mustafar, Hoth, Endor, and Christophsis (Clone Wars reference!). So, when we got back to my uncle's house, we immediately began another episode of the Continuing Story. This time, our heroes were bound for... Naboo.
You see, we knew next to nothing about these new planets. So in our version... Naboo was under the control of the Separatists.
So anyway, Anakin, Ahsoka, and Obi-Wan go to Naboo. Once there, they commence Operation Codenames. To this day, the characters have never shaken off their ridiculous codenames.
Anakin is Skyguy. Terrible, I know, and heaven only knows how the Separatists haven't caught on yet. But I digress...
Ahsoka is Snips. A little less obvious, maybe, but that coupled with her Mandalorian helmet disguise (Clone Wars reference!)? Just... no.
Obi-Wan is Jedi Gerbil. This is something of an inside joke for my sister and me, because a while back we read this book about a gerbil named after Obi-Wan. So naturally, we had to nickname him after that. Actually, Obi-Wan originally had a different codename, but we forgot it and anyway this was much better.
R2-D2 is Artooie. *Facepalm* This is probably the worst of the lot. I think we were originally codenaming the characters after Ahsoka's nicknames, so this was R2's. But again, heaven only knows how the Separatists haven't caught on.
Those were the original four. But one of the more recent episodes took the codenaming to a whole new level, so I'll include those codenames as well.
Padme is Lovebird. Any Star Wars fan will know exactly why we called her this. Heaven only knows how the Jedi Council hasn't caught on yet...
Yoda is Muppet. He was named after his origins. Enough said.
Aayla Secura (Clone Wars reference!) is French Girl. She was named this because of her accent, which is sort of French.
Nahdar Vebb (Clone Wars reference!) is Vebb Nahdar. *Facepalm* Good grief, that's even worse than Skyguy. Heaven only knows how the Separatists haven't caught on yet...
Those are the codenames as they are right now.
So, then, where was I? Oh yes, Operation Codenames on Naboo. Well, Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka go down into a Naboo town, leaving R2 alone on the hill where they landed.
Well, in the town, they meet... a cute girl. No, I'm serious. Keep in mind that this was before we knew of the Anakin x Padme pairing (and I'd have preferred it if it stayed that way--I've never liked that pairing). But then again, this was basically a re-telling of that story, except that the girl wasn't a queen/senator and Anakin wasn't forbidden to have attachments (this was before we knew about that). Oh, and the girl was blond.
Anyway, the Jedi, with their new friend in tow, head down to the center of town for some arbitrary reason. Along the way, and the girl deduces that they are Jedi and shares her findings out loud. This freaks the Jedi out and they run for it...
...and run straight into a battle droid patrol.
I have no idea how it happened, but somehow the Jedi escape the droids and make it to their ship...
...and then their ship short-circuits for no reason and they end up crash-landing on Geonosis.
Well, at least we got one thing right. In the Continuing Story, Geonosis is indeed a Separatist planet. But this is offset by the fact that we had no idea what Geonosians looked like. Therefore, we decided that in the Continuing Story, all Geonosians... wear crazy hats.
So of course, they continue with Operation Codenames while on Geonosis. This time, though, only Anakin and Obi-Wan go into town, leaving Ahsoka to watch R2.
But then Ahsoka, while communicating over radio, blows their cover by forgetting to use the codenames. Everyone except for R2 is captured.
And scene.
We pick up again in episode seven with Anakin, Ahsoka, and Obi-Wan sitting in a Separatist jail cell. To add humor, apparently the Separatists serve nasty food to their prisoners. Ahsoka and Anakin spend a good part of the episode complaining about this, while Obi-Wan berates them for being so petty.
Anyways, after a few more antics from the young'uns, Obi-Wan Forces the door open and they escape. Obi-Wan warns them to be careful, as there will be droids and Geonosians around, but Anakin actually mans up and tells Obi-Wan not to worry. After all, he is a master of the Force...
...and then he walks right into a low-hanging beam and knocks himself out. Ahsoka, of course, takes the opportunity to make a snarky comment.
Eventually, the Jedi escape from the dungeon, only to be confronted be Ventress. Obi-Wan and Ahsoka are duly frightened, but Anakin is strangely disaffected.
Obi-Wan and Ahsoka battle the droids and Geonosians, while Anakin takes on Ventress. The fight seems to be a stalemate, but then the clones conveniently show up and rescue the Jedi, making the first appearance they've made all season.
And scene.
Episodes eight through ten are a special. Apparently Anakin, Ahsoka and Obi-Wan have nothing to do, so they're watching a movie: Disney's Tangled. Why Anakin and Obi-Wan agreed to watch such a girly movie is beyond me, but I digress. Come to think of it, how do they know about Disney? This is Star Wars!
Well, anyway, unbeknownst to the other two Jedi, Anakin has been tinkering with their DVD player, and this causes them to be sucked into the movie.
Somehow, they are all separated while being sucked through a wormhole. Ahsoka ends up with Rapunzel, Anakin ends up with Flynn Rider, and Obi-Wan ends up with the guards.
In short: Ahsoka gets whacked with a frying pan before teaming up with Rapunzel, Anakin almost gets hanged before Obi-Wan bails him out, and Obi-Wan, well, doesn't do much other than bailing Anakin out.
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This has been The Continuing Story of the Life of Anakin Skywalker: Season I
I may or may not post synopses for Seasons II and III. It depends on the feedback I get for this one. So, if you would like to see Seasons II and III, please post a comment telling me that!
