I've just gotten back from my second time seeing The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey in theaters! One of my new favorite movies. I love middle-earth...
So, as promised, I will do a review. I'm new at this, so bear with me. And if a few characters butt in along the way, well, it's not my fault. (At least, it's not completely my fault...)
Ahem. No one saw that, right? Right. You didn't see anything.
So, on with the review...
*****
The movie opens in the Shire. Bilbo, as he appears in the Lord of the Rings movies, is going through some of his things and eventually finds a red leather book, which he takes to his desk and begins to write in. He is apparently narrating this to Frodo, saying that although he told the truth about his 'adventure', he did not tell him the whole thing.
Frodo comes out of the pantry and, after getting the mail, sees what Bilbo is doing. Bilbo sort of snaps at him, telling him that the book isn't ready to be read.
Frodo and Bilbo have a short conversation about Gandalf, and then Frodo runs off, saying he wants to surprise Gandalf.
And cue the opening scene of the Fellowship of the Ring...
But I'm getting off track. Anyways, Bilbo goes on with his narrative, saying that the story begins in a faraway place, the likes of which you won't find anymore in middle-earth.
And cue what is essentially the prologue of the movie. It is explained how there was a mountain called Erebor and that near it was the city of Dale. Dale prospered, and Erebor was ruled by the great Thror, King under the Mountain, greatest of the dwarf-lords. It is mentioned that Thror had a son, Thrain, and a grandson, Thorin.
And all my fellow LOTR/The Hobbit fans know who that is.
Anyway...
Okay, wait. I don't want to give away the entire plot. I think I've said too much already. I'll go onto the technical aspects of the review. E, don't you dare say a word.
Herm, hmmm, yes. I think my new story idea is influencing me. Treebeard, don't you dare say a word. Anyway...
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is a good movie. There are several humorous and/or witty parts, most likely because The Hobbit is more of a children's book than Lord of the Rings is. The filmmakers, in my opinion, did an excellent job of making each of the thirteen dwarves have their own look.
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| Fili-- |
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| and Kili-- |
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| At your service! |
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| Ori |
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| Gloin, father of Gimli |
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| Bombur |
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| Bofur |
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| Thorin Oakenshield--leader of the Dwarves (And uncle to Fili and Kili) |
The score is, of course, simply amazing. A main theme, maybe even more so than the original LOTR theme is the song of Erebor:
Far over the misty mountains cold,
To dungeons deep, and caverns old,
We must away ere break of day,
To seek the pale enchanted gold.
That's the first verse. It goes on, I believe... but anyway, great song, amazing score.
One bone I have to pick with the filmmakers is all of the things they added to the story. For one thing, the prologue I mentioned earlier is probably at least thirty minutes long. All of that wasn't necessary--they could have woven it through the story like it was in the book. Then there's some other things they added--
- For one thing, we finally meet Radagast the Brown, one of Gandalf's fellow wizards. Radagast prefers the company of animals over men (I know how he feels sometimes), and lives alone in the Mirkwood, which in this version is also known as the Greenwood. Radagast finds out about the giant spiders in the Mirkwood and reports this to Gandalf. They find that this is the fault of... The Necromancer.
For all those non-LOTR/The Hobbit fans out there (you know who you are), The Necromancer is another name for either:
A) The Witch-king of Angmar, Suaron's #1 Ringwraith or
B) Sauron himself. Both are prime villains.
A) The Witch-king of Angmar, Suaron's #1 Ringwraith or
B) Sauron himself. Both are prime villains.
Now, contrary to popular belief, The Necromancer is actually somewhat involved in The Hobbit. Here is exactly what is said about him in the book:
"Your grandfather," said the wizard slowly and grimly, "gave the map to his son for safety before he went to the mines of Moria. Your father went away to try his luck with the map after your grandfather was killed; and lots of adventures of a most unpleasant sort he had, but he never got near the Mountain. How he got there I don't know, but I found him a prisoner in the dungeons of the Necromancer."
"Whatever were you doing there?" asked Thorin with a shudder, and all the dwarves shivered.
"Never you mind. I was finding things out, as usual; and a nasty dangerous business it was. Even I, Gandalf, only just escaped. I tried to save your father, but it was too late. He was witless and wandering, and had forgotten almost everything except the map and the key."
"We have long ago paid the goblins of Moria," said Thorin; "we must give a thought to the Necromancer."
"Don't be absurd! He is an enemy far beyond the powers of all the dwarves put together, if they could all be collected again from the four corners of the world. The one thing your father wished was for his son to read the map and use the key. The dragon and the Mountain are more than big enough tasks for you!"So, this having been said, why did the movie makers feel the need to include The Necromancer in the movie?
- Secondly, there's another subplot added featuring none other than Azog the Defiler, a.k.a. the Pale Orc. Of course, there's another thirty minutes of backstory about this. So, as the story goes, after Smaug the dragon attacked and captured Erebor, the dwarves tried to go to the mines of Moria. Unfortunately, the orcs got there first. A large battle ensues. Azog has sworn to wipe out the line of Durin (that would be Thror, Thrain, and Thorin). Azog beheads Thror, and Thrain goes mad with grief. It is unknown what happened to him. Thorin tries to take revenge and gets his tail whupped, nearly losing an arm. After losing his shield, he uses an oak branch to shield himself from Azog's attacks (hence his name, Thorin Oakenshield). Thorin ends up cutting half of Azog's arm off, and the orc is dragged back into Moria, "mortally" wounded. The dwarves win the day, but their dead number too many to count.
Several other smaller plot points are changed. A few of these are
- Galadriel and Saruman showing up at Rivendell while the dwarves are there,
- the ponies conveniently bolting when the orcs & wargs (think evil wolves with large heads) show up, instead of being lost in the mountains, and
- the dwarves leaving Rivendell on their own, without Elrond's blessing.
Overall, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is good, though it doesn't quite live up to my expectations. My score for the movie is: B-. It could have been lower, but the epic battle scenes, amazing CG effects, and numerous humor points help bring the rating up.
Rating: PG-13
Violence: Lots, though most is directed at creatures we don't mind seeing killed. There is a low amount of gore during one scene.
Cursing: None
Sex: None
Other: There are several frightening images, i.e. goblins, trolls, giant spiders, orcs, wargs, and a dragon incinerating everything in sight, though it should be noted that the dragon is never actually fully seen. It is also mentioned that The Necromancer can summon spirits from the dead.
Favorite Quotes:
Bilbo: [Reading contract] Dwarves not responsible for various injuries including but not limited to... laceration... incineration?
Bofur: Oh yes. Dragons can melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye!
Bilbo: [Leans over and begins to take deep breaths] I'm fine. Yes, I'm fine.
Bofur: Think furnace--with wings! Searing heat, a flash of light, and poof, you're nothing but a pile of ashes!
Bilbo: No. [Faints]
{The dwarves have previously been captured by trolls. Half are being roasted (alive) over a fire, and the other half are in sacks.}
Troll: Let's season 'em. We could use some sage--
Bilbo: [Hops up] You're making a big mistake here, you know.
Troll: Huh? Why?
Bilbo: I mean, have you smelled them? You're going to need something a lot stronger than sage to make them taste good.
Troll #2: Make him shut up!
Troll #1: No, no, let 'im talk. What is the secret to cooking dwarf, then?
Bilbo: Well, the secret to cooking dwarf is... um...
Troll: Yes? Yes?
Bilbo: The secret to cooking dwarf is to... to skin them! Yes, to skin them!
{Later during this same scene}
Troll: [Picks up dwarf to eat whole]
Bilbo: I wouldn't eat him if I were you. He's got--worms, in his... tubes.
Troll: Uggh! [Immediately drops dwarf]
Bilbo: They're all riddled, in fact, with parasites. I wouldn't risk it if I were you, I really wouldn't.
Dwarves: Hey, we don't have parasites! What are you talking about, you--
Thorin: [Whacks dwarves and gives them a meaningful look]
Dori: I've got parasites as big as my arm!
Kili: I've got loads of parasites! Millions of parasites!
{The dwarves have just entered Rivendell. They are surrounded by elven riders and naturally very suspicious.}
Elrond: Thorin Oakenshield, son of Thrain, son of Thror. I knew your grandfather, you know.
Thorin: Oh really? He made no mention of you.
Elrond: [Says something in Elvish]
Gloin: Is he offering us insult!?
Gandalf: My good dwarf, he is offering you food.
Gloin: Oh. Well, in that case, we'd be honored.
{Elrond, Galadriel, Gandalf, and Saruman are in Rivendell, discussing the apparent problem of The Necromancer.}
Saruman: But can we really trust what Radagast says? He--
Gandalf: He's odd, I'll grant you that. But he lives a solitary life.
Saruman: No! It's not that. It's his excessive consumption of mushrooms!
{Bilbo has managed, half intentionally, to slip away from the goblins. He is confronting Gollum in the depths of the mountains.}
Bilbo: I'm lost, so if you'll just show me the way out, I'll be on my way.
Gollum: Oh! We knows the way out for the hobbitses, we knows! Shut up!
Bilbo: I didn't say anything.
Gollum: We wasn't talking to you!
{Later during this same scene}
Gollum: [Says riddle]
Bilbo: Hmmm...
Gollum: ...Oh, we knows it, we knows! Shut up!
{The dwarves, helped by Gandalf, have just made a daring escape from the goblins in the Misty Mountains. They were trapped on a falling section of bridge, but have made it to the bottom fairly unharmed.}
Bofur: Well, that could've been worse.
Goblin King: [Lands on top of the dwarves, already dead]
Dwalin: [Underneath several beams of wood] You've got to be joking!
